What it's like to be vain (like me)

Fellow vain,

It feels good to exercise but It feels better to eat chocolate cake. If I could get abs as fast as I can get food, I would've been Jac Jagaciak right now or Monika Sta. Maria (Hahahaha. I would never miss those names). But, I prefer to do nothing all day and eat a lot. Of course, I am also studying for my everyday summer class but I just feel so unproductive, I am already feeling the need to get my ass moving. 

I'm sharing with you 3 major words, I am currently contemplating. 

Mainstream. 

I'm too fed up by people who always want to fit in. I remember those days when, there was this colored-pants boom during my sophomore days in highschool and I was like, "woah!". I'm the type of girl who is torn between belonging and being able to go out of the group. I am not against those people who are really trendy, artsy and all the more very creative. I just felt like, these days trying to go against mainstream is waaay being mainstream. So I just always brushed the thought of it. Why did I open this up? It's because as I've said, I am being unproductive and I just browse/scroll on instagram (or other social media sites) at a daily basis. My judgmental self is out of the cage! Talk about wanting for an adventure. (My dear friends, this is what happens when you want to explore, but you don't have enough money to do it lol) 

Apathy.

Lately, I am frantic about the current events that I've been reading/hearing. I get too much sensationalism, drama and grief. I just cannot contain it anymore. I can admit, I'm apathetic when it comes to posting or commenting on something very important or valuable on the web. I don't know, maybe I'm just too scared of being scrutinized by the cyberworld and I've never been really a nerd-type-kinda-activist-intellectually-inclined kind of girl, people see me as the type who just knows fashion and celebrity gossips (a lot). But, there are times when I already want to speak up. I've just always been scared. I hope I will have the guts and bravery to break the apathy, someday. (FYI, I also read TIME and THE ECONOMIST! not just teen vogue and nylon)

Vanity. (and the whole point of this boring letter)

I would admit to it that I am the vainest person you will ever meet. Hahaha! Obviously, this blog says it all. I am so full of myself (Really). As I was fitting and sorting out my summer outfits for my beach adventures for the coming week (I get a little too sexy HAHAHA), I began to ponder on why am I too busy fitting these stuff, when I could've been studying for tomorrow's lesson or be involved in community affairs. But no, I am actually fitting my swimsuits and trying to pick which sunnies to bring. 

As much as I want to talk about conspiracy theories, how the education system is fvcked up or the government or the society I live in. As much as, I want to rant my hates about homophobia, plagiarism and bullying. I might have said, "I want a boyfriend." When honestly, "I want a friend who likes deep late night conversations." I prefer not to. Because, it's useless (Don't you think it's still vanity sugar-coated?). A friend told me, "Love yourself first, it's not being vain nor selfish, it's being happy." 

So you'd ask me, what it's like to be vain? 

It's mainstream. But nobody ever said they are, so it's lounging on apathy. (Hahahahha!)

To my fellow vain, try to dwell on things that makes you feel alive (e.g. Falling in love! Hahahaha okay, Rallying, included), it doesn't have to be deep, it doesn't have to be popular, it doesn't need to be heard. But, it does have to make you feel like you own the world. You are a human.

Stay vain. (With utmost passion to be the better person you are meant to be) 

Always,

Patricia the beautiful 

Asia's Next top model season 10 - winner (HAHAHAHA)

So sexy (Yup! VS angel)