May 8, 2015


I am composed of two contrasting characters.

There's a part of me that is a dreamer, an ambitious beast, hunger for travels and bizarre experiences. This part of me wants to embrace the world, to search for new passions and renew the old ones. It wants to be a writer with deep damn feelings that would take people's breath-away. This part of me loves to see how the sun rises and sets, who ironically loves wild nights lit only by bonfires. Inspired by art and literature and everything that makes life real. The one who never cries because of failing. Yet, the one who fights back when it happens. Described by, the could bes and the would bes. Scared only of mediocrity and not being able to do what it wants. Free, Cunning yet Empathetic. If fed by opportunity this part of me might eat me whole and I'd give up the other half, finally. 

The other half is as silent as those who love unrequitedly. The one who never gives up just to prove some things to others. Yet, this part of me lives by the norm. Strong at the surface but never fearless. It shakes and it breaks. The one who complains about life but the one who never speaks and the one who never leaves. Seen by failures and damaged promises. Described by, the could've beens and the would've beens. Constantly, trying to convince itself that life is beautiful by talking, talking, always talking of "someday", failing to realize it is "today". It carries with it wishes that never comes true. This part of me dreams only of sleep, for the days are too long and nights are only for being scared of tomorrow. Lazy, Quiet and "Just". This part of me would never disclose itself, unless I give up the other half. 

I'd live for that day, that the two would break into half to form a whole. For long I was thinking, maybe, if I learn to let go of the one that has been killing me, they will. 

However, I don't know which one.

Your paradox,