Babe,
There is nothing scarier than losing the passion on things you once loved. I can never imagine myself not writing anymore.
We all get tired. There is this heavy weight of all things trying to pull us down, as if the world has to be pulled as well in order to continue. I feel it. The unavoidable feeling of not being good enough, that there is always something missing. I think that is what public accounting does to you - it's going to take all your heart and you have to be prepared for it. Though, how much you try to convince yourself that it will pass, as most things will never last, the feeling won't stop and there is no escaping.
Sometimes, when we get lost or stressed, we only see the darkness and that is okay. No amount of "Positivity" can ever replace the darkness we feel inside, it's just there. The hollow feeling of being caught in a maze where you can't find answers, or feeling that all the pressure is on you but you're fighting alone. As if we cannot continue anymore, and we tagged ourselves unworthy of any praise because we feel like quitters and dumb complainers. Sadness has found its new home.
Indeed, when something is valuable it will never come easy.
But babe, we will survive.
You may not know this but we are all made of light. We never see it, but the amount of effort we put in pulling ourselves together everyday are flickers of light. The way we try our best, even if no one sees us is a reflection of our brevity. We are trying to do our best and that's what matters most. If it's taking all of our hearts, then we give it. Our hearts, like seeds - if planted, will bloom. Isn't that what love is?
So, what do we do?
We breakdown.
Then, we stand up. Then, we burn brighter.
Love always,
Patricia
