May 24, 2017

Don't forget this girl

There's a perfect meme for every heartbreaks, a hugot perhaps, or a button poetry. Things millennials, like me, would divulge in. Romanticizing stuff, the korean dramas way, or  by lang leav's language. We could always pretend to relate to the songs of Quest's Walang Hanggan or Ang Bandang Shirley's Siberia and Maginhawa. As if. As if, the pain sprouted from an indie film. We will call it:"Sana ganito ang nangyari."

Then here's this girl, seeing all those things revolving around her. People moving at a fast-paced and she was in slow-mo.  A mere spectator of the feels she's not familiar of, but she chose to feel it, anyway. How do you put a meme to someone like her?

When her only heartbreak was not graduating on time, and the uncertainties that goes with it. Or, the fact that she's scared of being forgotten by the same people who believed in her. Or, that she couldn't fit with anybody at all. Everyone is moving forward - how can she? We all needed a meme, somehow. Touching the wound without getting hurt - to an unlabeled heartbreak.

I was hoping there was a certain song for how she feels. An indie film about the stories of the roads she didn't take, or the one she is traversing. I hope there is an ode to her longing - the best friends who went ahead of her. A Lang Leav prose called: "The could've beens." I wish there is a fight for oblivion; something that she so feared.

Don't forget her. Even when the spaces between you and her are getting wider. Even when she couldn't hold your hands anymore. (Even when she withdraws from the powerpuff girls). Even when she decides to keep quiet. Even when the sparks are no longer there.

Don't forget this girl. Even when you are walking at a fast-paced and she is still a spectator. When you meet her at the road, tell her not to give up. I'm afraid, it has become her habit. Tell her, you hope to see her as you wait at the end of the road. That is what she needs to hear.

Nothing terrifies her more, than losing the people she love the most.

Someday, she will finally move forward. You must not forget this girl. As if, she was from your favorite indie film. Relevant and unforgettable.

That girl, in perfect timing, will write her own story. In slow-mo. In slow-mo.

It's still painful to write this, without getting scared of uncertainties and broken promises. But, someone must.

I will call it: "Nangyari na." Then, there'd be a perfect meme for her own heartbreak, a hugot perhaps, or a button poetry.

Don't forget this girl. (Albeit, the "three letters" are long overdue)

Love, Patricia

P.S. She remembers

May 8, 2017

Series I've seen (while in my own depression)

I am back (for the meantime)!!!! 

Today, I want to write about other things aside from love and acads. I am well aware that my blog is boring. Let's not forget the fact that I'm currently lacking in photos. Wait lang mga bes! I’ll have another hiatus for 6 months. I will finish some shitty things in my life first. Then I will finally write exciting things.  I just don’t have the focus yettt and the money and the time and what have yeeew. 

Sometimes, I get really dumb and I can’t figure shits out. I am also finding it strenuous to write, lately. It’s like everything that I write has NO HOPE IN IT. It’s like: "bleh, put this girl back in highschool," that kind of stuff, that kind of self-pitying monster whore.

Anyway enough of the small talk. Last March I got into a really awful depression. A depression I couldn’t write yet. Uhuh! I think I am suffering from a mild depression, which involves eating too much carbs. ANNNNND, watching too much Netflix, hihi yes I have an unlimited access to Netflix thanks to my sister for letting me steal her account LOL.