"hello mister, pleased to meet ya". I hope I say the exact words when we meet. It's kind of funny, how I'm already dreaming about you when I only wanted pizza or books or ice cream before. I don't imagine my life with a partner, it never occurred to me. I even told myself, I can live my life alone and I can still be the happiest person alive. However, this one day, I felt the wanting of being loved and admired by someone.
I imagine you delivering pizza at our doorsteps and my friends laughed when I told them about it, because they thought I wanna marry a pizza delivery guy. Honestly, I could've said, "Why not?". How lovely it is to watch Nicholas Sparks' movies with you, then maybe I only want to imagine myself with Channing Tatum or Zac Efron. In anyway, I hope I see you better than them. There was an instance when I listened to taylor swift's new songs and I yearn to relate and cry too but I just couldn't, because I don't have a blank space, baby. I imagine midnight talks and heavy coffee drinking. I had wished for sleepless nights because the reality is so much better. "Get me some fries and let's stalk our crushes on Facebook", that would be more breathtaking than fancy dinners and expensive gifts. I hope you'd laugh so hard because I can't balance my worksheet in school, when it's already stressing me out. I just want to hear that the world is still okay because you're still laughing. I want you to let me go to parties because I'm not used to it and I'm a total anti-social at parties. Teach me to meet new friends, moreover, teach me to dance.
"I hope our love is the kind that is quiet on the outside but loud on the inside." - Marianna Paige
I knew I want a savior, when I wrote that philo paper about my God, I wrote desperate things like being saved from depression, unease and loneliness. However, I hope our love is something that doesn't need to be saved. I hope it moves smoothly like the deep waters. Never shallow, never superficial. I hope you don't get annoyed, because I'm not clingy. I am not into public display. I'm also not into tumblr-ish photographs of us nor long long messages on social media (minus my blog). I want to write you genuine love letters, I want to sing you songs people never heard of and even if I had the voice of a frog, I hope you'd still turn around saying, "I want you!"
I want to travel places with you. We start at our houses where our parents live. You have to know me as the creative in our house; messy but my room is quite organized because I cannot study well if it's not. I love my Dad and Mom so much. I am bestfriends with my elder sisters, both of them I really love too. I hope yours tell more stories than how you speak of it, eI am not into mansions or how exquisite your appliances are. I look at your attitude with your parents or siblings, I look at how you behave at home. I hope you love them as much as you love me. I cannot love someone who cannot love their parents first. I love it when you care most for your little siblings. I always loved kids. I'm enthralled by people who loves kids.
Writing to someone who never exists, or is existing but who never knows me is equally sweet and painful. Maybe, if I've met you, you'd probably like my prettier friends. I've always been "The Bridge", the hopeless romantic and the writer for others. People knew me as someone, who cannot love simply because her standards are too high even herself couldn't reach it. Nonetheless, All I want in life is someone who can appreciate the little things I do for love. Not that I'm desperate nor I'm pleading for it, I just want to know how it's like to feel electrified with someone, like how I feel whenever I start a new blogpost, shaking and horrified. Although, I'm really scared, I want to fall and get broken for the first time. But most of all, I want your assurance that it's not going to hurt like what I'm expecting.
I want you to fall hopelessly in love with me too and that you were encouraged to write me a reply letter addressed to "The girl with unrequited love" I hope I took your breath away
I want to travel places with you. We start at our houses where our parents live. You have to know me as the creative in our house; messy but my room is quite organized because I cannot study well if it's not. I love my Dad and Mom so much. I am bestfriends with my elder sisters, both of them I really love too. I hope yours tell more stories than how you speak of it, eI am not into mansions or how exquisite your appliances are. I look at your attitude with your parents or siblings, I look at how you behave at home. I hope you love them as much as you love me. I cannot love someone who cannot love their parents first. I love it when you care most for your little siblings. I always loved kids. I'm enthralled by people who loves kids.
Writing to someone who never exists, or is existing but who never knows me is equally sweet and painful. Maybe, if I've met you, you'd probably like my prettier friends. I've always been "The Bridge", the hopeless romantic and the writer for others. People knew me as someone, who cannot love simply because her standards are too high even herself couldn't reach it. Nonetheless, All I want in life is someone who can appreciate the little things I do for love. Not that I'm desperate nor I'm pleading for it, I just want to know how it's like to feel electrified with someone, like how I feel whenever I start a new blogpost, shaking and horrified. Although, I'm really scared, I want to fall and get broken for the first time. But most of all, I want your assurance that it's not going to hurt like what I'm expecting.
I want you to fall hopelessly in love with me too and that you were encouraged to write me a reply letter addressed to "The girl with unrequited love" I hope I took your breath away
That day I felt the wanting, I had wished to tell someone "I love you because you helped me when I was drowning". "I love you because you still believe in me, despite everything". "I love you because even if I'm fat, you still look up to me, like I'm a goddess". I like the idea of saying it. I love the idea of you. I couldn't wait to say, "hello mister, pleased to meet ya".
But it's all just an Ideology.
But it's all just an Ideology.
Love,
The Idealistic Girl ---
