November 6, 2015

The true story behind "I'm okay"

The real story behind, "I'm okay" is "I don't care" hahahaha kidding. When honestly, I'm really okay and some people must stop romanticising or giving a new meaning, to my grumpy side while saying "I'm okay" because "I am", behind bottles of beer. Kidding, again.

I'm okay. But most probably, I am suffering from a little dramatic state where I don't know how to explain my feelings, whether I'm happy, devastated, confused, tired, lonely and what have you. Sometimes, I just don't know how to describe the commotion among my heart, stomach and brain (also, with my hormones). Hahaha!

Anyway, it's the time of the year again, where I sat down and over-think about how to end this semester without crying. But, I am most certainly will be fine after crying. 

I actually miss everyone at school already, being a super senior isn't fun at all. From 100% batchmates during undergrad years, you only see like 15% of them after graduation day. Some of them didn't get to graduate on time, some of them are in prereview (which is one heck stressful accountancy beast-mode level, wherein you get to choose to die or continue living while not actually living at all, how is that even possible? only in prerev), some are taking their second degree (just like me!) and some, just wanna visit and tell stories of how they landed on their first jobs. fvck. 

I'm still at school.

But I'll be out soon. I just really neeeeeeeed tons and tons and tons of motivation (and luck) to pass this semester and get through pre-review next year and get the freaking-fucking title who ruined my search for love life, travel buddies, social life, friends, movie marathons, novel readings and adventures during my teenage life up to my early twenties. Someday, you'll pay for this "CPA dreams". Yes, I'm gonna get you and kill you! 

For now,

I think I need to say goodbye to social media and earthly distractions. 

Ughhh, as usual, I'm not going to promise anything for this semester, I will just do my thing, in order to make myself proud at the end of all this. 

Although, I miss everyone and I'm feeling really homesick. I just live on the thought that one day, we're gonna meet again and that I'll tell you how joyful and grateful I am on the fact, that I didn't give up on the times that I almost did.  

I miss you

This is gonna be a bumpy ride. Hold on.

Love always,

P.S. I'm seriously, seriously okay. Trust me!