May 31, 2015

On becoming an Avenger (or a Power-puff girl)


Do you remember how when we were little, our teachers would frequently ask us the question; “If you are to become a superhero, what superpower do you want to possess?”, most of my classmates said, they wanted to fly; or to be invisible, yet I was a pathetic little girl back then, who just wanted to become best friends with the power-puff girls or better yet the Charlie’s Angels. It’s funny, I know.

The thing is, people expect you not to believe in supers anymore as soon as you grow up (or as soon as you reach the level of rationality); like how you believe in Santa Claus. But it was a different story for me. As I was growing up, I started to believe in heroes/fairies even more (I’m a mind-fuck crazy person). When you’re always in terrible situations, all you can hope for is someone to save you from it. However, my superheroes never came; that’s when I realized, I am my own hero (only not a super).

I’d like to believe, I am an independent person; someone who is not afraid of being in dark places alone. Honestly, It’s scarier to imagine myself alone in a bright crowded place. In short, I like being on my own. I’d like to shop, travel and eat alone. I even enjoy riding on airplanes alone. I don’t even know when I got used of being this way exactly. I suppose it was at the age of 7 when my mother let me eat solo at McDonalds, while she do the groceries; Or at the age of 10 when I was already shopping notebooks for school without any companion. You’d think that my life is as sad and as monotonous as those people who are crying at midnight wishing for someone to be there for them. No, my life wasn’t sad at all.

However, there wasn’t a point in my life where I didn’t even wish for someone (not just I) to save me. We all, somehow, wished for our own Iron man or black widow; who will swim oceans for us just to get and save us. Better yet, we all needed, even just a little, assurance or certainty that we belong somewhere; even if we have our own world like Asgard.

Most of us are scared of not belonging to a group, of having to go on a battlefield without back-ups – of having no friends. It is okay, no man is an island anyway; but if you ever find yourself deserted, do not feel like you’re worthless. It's given, people think that superheroes don't need saving. We are all going to be alone at some point for sure. Make it a worthwhile me-time, release your powers, be your own Evelyn Salt, be your own superhero. After all, the hero in us rises in difficult moments when we realize there is no one else left but us. And, who knows? SHIELD agents might just recruit you.

If I ever become a superhero, I want to possess the power of instantly touching people’s lives by the use of my words. It’s not “bibbidi bobbidi boo”; It’s when I got to write or speak something and I already have the capacity to make villains heartily cry in retreat. I mean, who wouldn’t want to see villains cry? That would’ve been a cooler superpower than being best friends with the power-puff girls.

I will become an Avenger. I will find my own Ironman, Thor, The hulk, Black widow, Captain America etc. But, that is when I finally find the hero in me too.

I’m on my way.

Patrish (The Drama Queen/ Captain Dramarama? Hahahaha)