February 25, 2015

While we're here

Dear finishers (this is not for starters)

We have always been excited of finishing something we've been working on for so long, may it be a book we've been reading, a research, an essay, a painting etc. There's always a pang of excitement when we are about to finish it. It feels surreal to be able to get it done. To see our hard-work comes to life. However, as nonconformist as I am, I usually try not to finish it abruptly. I don't want to give an end to something that makes me happy. The idea of "ending" scares me. This is, ladies and gentlemen, the disadvantage of not believing in happily ever after. 

Today, I am sending my middle finger to the starting point, "Bitch. I am almost at the end!". I am already far far away from where I started. I can still feel my shaking hands when I first stood up on that big fat line. It wasn't always easy to move far from it. My heart have been broken a thousand times before getting here. Yet, I still don't want to put an end to it. It's not because I love getting hurt, but because there were greater moments in this journey that was worth hurting for over and over again. Who would ever want to end something that made you feel stronger and complete? That's why, "ending" scares me a lot! 

I say, it's not really the ending that excites us (it actually terrifies me so so much), it's the adventure in it, the quest. It's the trip to finding happiness, that makes us truly happy. So while we're here, let's dance and when it ends, the new song begins. 

This is how we Commence.

Love, Patricia