So basically, I failed my goal
these Midterms, I lost my mind. Hahaha but after thinking about it for a while,
I think maybe I really have to move on now, I think it’s hard to accept
millions of mistakes, imperfections and some other insecurities in my life, But
it’s still a Life worth living. My Life. I don’t know. I am moving on with my
insecure attitudes, where my only exhaustion is my blog, where I always compare
myself with others, I think moving on with these bad habits is part of loving
ourselves. I am ready to ‘TRY’ to move forward.
I don’t know why I am sharing these to all my readers, but
I think most of us is in need of self help. Have troubles in math? Not passing
good college university? Not being an honor student since birth? Never had the
chance to taste the warmth of an alcoholic beverage by the socialites? Being in
love with the one who doesn’t know you? You think you aren’t pretty or Good
Enough? Etc. I think most of these are our problems. I will say: MOVE ON!
I think that, what we need to do is
focus on what will make us the best not just better, what is our purpose? what
should be done? how will it help others?
To tell you, I am really such a sucker with the Grammar and I am a little dyslexic
when it comes to spelling words with double letters, I can’t even spell ‘Twitter’
and ‘Scanner’ but I can spell prostitution and spygmomanometer, and I wasn’t an
honor student in the Lime light, I wasn’t in the Honors’ Class =))) Why am I
telling you this? It’s because I want to show you what Life is, what is in this
word that makes it beautiful, not because you are Perfect.
People see us with what we are,
with what we achieved, with what status in life we have, with what our family
name is, with what makes us on the top. I think this is the reason why people
are so depressed when they can’t get what they’ve always wanted because they are
busy searching for the answers for the: ‘WHATs’ not with ‘WHO’ and ‘WHY’
I honestly loved accounting, but
I had a hard time studying for it because there weren’t days when I don't regret my
very first biggest failure in life, I hate it. When I was a kid there were talents
I never knew I can do in college like: writing, solving and sketching because in elementary, I am the ‘wrong grammar
girl, the ‘math remedial student’ and ‘trying hard artist’ I gave up all of
these in highschool in exchange for social ladder, to be one of the mean girls,
to be one of the tribal party girls, to be what I am not created for, I
remember those times when all my
philosophies in life was trashed, because it’s uncool.
Those were parcel of the stories in my exhausted and epic
failure life. But then while writing all these past experiences, I realized how
far I am now. Not because I am expert in math and writing now, but because I am
ready to make another way for another chapter in my life. I will start this not
with a promise, but I want to start this chapter by TRYING. I’ll try helping
others not to compete with them, by being more compassionate, more friendly,
more simple, less insecurities and lastly being the best person I can be without
impressing anyone. Duhhhh? We are all prince and princesses, even when we
really sucked in debate, sucked in math, sucked in animation, sucked in
everything we think we weren’t good at, sucked with LIFE. Let’s all call
ourselves losers, retakers, fat and ugly. But that doesn’t mean you have to
give up easily. Stay Strong even if it’s really hard, step by step, we can!
Let all these experiences be an inspiration to others. Make this the best Stimulant to your Depressed Life <3
