"I guess, I'll just have to deal with later, the hurt that my subjects feel, upon being ignored."
It's 12 and I'm still trying to absorb all the details in preparation for school tomorrow. Right now, I just want to be indifferent of the things that bothers me, I want to shake off the stress and forget all the nuisance, to just ignore things for awhile. I guess, I'll just have to deal with later, the hurt that my subjects feel, upon being ignored. Indifference.
Tyra Banks once said, "Hate is not the opposite of Love but indifference" those were the days of America's Next Top Model. I've always loved this line. (I actually don't know what to write without sounding too cheesy or something. It's late and I'm putting too much drama again.) Anyway, a lot of people says I'm very friendly and talkative at the same time (I second the motion even if I I've considered myself more of a clingy-friend haha), why did I actually mentioned this? To tell you that this whole friendly-talkative thing is just a plain mask to the apathy and indifference, I sometimes feel for myself. It's the time like this when I just want to talk to someone because I am pulling myself down again, the bad heavy thoughts are coming in again, the notion of not caring, lack of interest. So I keep on finding the right persons to talk to me and care, to unravel the emotions I wanted to feel; happiness. However, I know for a fact that we ought not to depend our happiness from other people.
Maybe I'm just tired of being too emotionally inclined, or sometimes too numb I couldn't write properly. That's why I wanted to be detached to these feelings at least for a while. To be indifferent to the people who once cared. To ignore people I really hate. To ignore people I really love. To be silent even if there's a calling for me to talk. No, I need this "for a while".
I'm writing this to you because I want you to break the apathy.
Love always,
Patricia
Good Night!
