I've never felt so blank until now. I honestly don't know what to write; I just feel like sleeping a lot lately and reading books after sleeping, and eating Bingo cookies. I don't even jog anymore. I have pimples and eye-bags everywhere and I certainly don't feel beautiful right now. I'm slobbing.
Did you ever feel sad and happy at the same time? Because, I can feel that right now. It depresses me. There's so much to think that the thought is already swallowing me.
The first 2 years of college was a mess, really. But of course we're not just discussing grades here, although I really feel sad with how my grades before turned out to be affecting my life right now. "Don't dwell in the past" -- I always say that everyday, like it's a mantra or something. But every time, I meet new people, (those really geeky and smart ones) discussing their grades, I am forced to question myself, "What have I done, to deserve those grades?" God. I can admit to myself that I am a tad bit ambitious, I really want to be one of the smartest people living on this planet (Ha-ha, Told you!). Although, I'm really not intelligent (I swear to God almighty, I'm not). I'm so Ordinary, you could just achieve my highest score anytime you want. But I really try my best to become a smart respectable girl.
So to wrap it up, I am stressing right now because I have been enlightened, to correct all the wrong things I've done with my grades and with my study habits in the past through sleeping-reading novels-eating bingo cookies, Wow! What a nice way to continue achieving your goals! I'm not President's Lister (When the hell did I become one. I'm soooo Sad)
Grieving to the highest level,
Anna
P.S. I will buy many packs of Bingo Cookies, it's my new favorite.
