I was the one who gave up the dreams of a 9-year old girl who wanted to become a writer; I gave up because of chagrin, of fear, of dismay, I didn't try and that was the lamest thing I have ever done.
I was the one who gave up telling fairy-tales and fantasies, because I already find it sickly and boring and impossible and corny, No. It's heartbreaking.
I was the one who gave up reading, who gave up reading messages from the people who cares, I gave up because the lies were too painful to receive; lies that could have been true if I wasn't so naive.
I was the one who gave up praying every night, I gave up praying because my wishes were too shallow to be heard, I gave up because It's too hard admitting the truth to God.
I was the one who gave up taking photos, simply because people doesn't look beyond my photos, they told me I was not good at it.
I was the one who gave up a friendship because of ego. Conceited with my own desires.
I was the one who gave up the thing I'm passionate about, I gave up debate and public speaking simply because the longer I stay, the more I miss the person I once had it with. I just needed to forego.
I was the one who gave up promises, the promise of being an accountant, the promise of studying hard and doing the best I can, in order to fulfill my dreams of belonging to smart siblings. I wanted it so bad, but I gave up because I was too weak to fight.
I was the one who gave up listening to a song, simply because it reminded me of someone I wanted to forget.
I was the one who gave up the love, I should have had. The embrace that could have been received, the compliments that should have made me stronger. The words that could have set me free. What could have been if I didn't let go?
I was the one who gave up the sweetness I had ever since, I became hateful, silent of the things I could have told everyone, of the voice I once had.
I was the one who gave up. Imagine what could have been if I didn't give up, I would've been happier without so much burden right now. But who knows? maybe they were all made for me, because of these I learn to value decisions, I'm not saying that it's okay to give up, I'm saying it's okay to make mistakes sometimes, it's okay if you got a bad grade and you don't fit in a size 25 jeans and you just wanted to run away; learn that at times there'd really be tears to shed and long nights to withstand, it's okay to regret something so as long as you're willing to start again. And this is where the fight really is and I'd be lying if I never tell you it is hard.
I was the one who gave up, I was until now.
