May 2, 2011

We are all afraid of hearing the response

As we passes through highways with mountain views, or sweet green grasses, hearing love songs always make us romantic, that even those people who’ve actually let go, moved on or have partly forgotten their first love, they smile thoroughly and behind every smiles are hidden stories yet to be written.

It is the time when we reminisce childhood stories. When we started having crushes with playmates, who we thought are enemies in the playground, who actually became our first gentleman who would be willing to share the swing with you, because tears are falling in your cheeks and he’s afraid to hurt your mom. Then we met our Elementary First love, but fell for your best friend, and you were like the cable in the Zip line or the Trunk in the tree that was made a bridge. How you smile deeply while listening to his voice in the telephone, and then years go by, faces changed, time flees. He never knew, he was your first love. 

When we stepped out in our shell, in High School, with full optimism and full of judgmental insecurities, how free speech have been demolished and the time to relaxed have been limited, even our greatest opinions or beliefs have been tampered by people with different perspectives, how we thought that giving up is the only way.

Then here we go again, our hearts will be beating so hard that we sometimes assume things which is really far from the reality. We had our own crushes: the Cool, the Handsome, the has-it-all, the nerd, the lover boy, the punk rock, the sweet guy, the rich man, the gentleman, the kirsmate, the model, the savior, the frat, the seminarian, the dancer, the singer, the debater, the jejemon or even the valedictorian. (And make it the vice versa for the masculine point of view) We go gaga, taking pictures with them or even making ourselves pretty waiting for a miracle because we thought that only those pretty-petite ladies have the chance to be loved, we have been affected by miseries of high school. Our Confidence Dropped.

But as the light goes dimmer we can always see the fire burning again, keeping them alive. You’ll try your best to be Better, to be a good dancer if he’s there, to be a good studentto be a party girl or even to become the best you can be, so that he’ll like you back. And your first goal is for you to be loved by everyone. You changed yourself. But he never really did notice you, because he was thinking of someone else; and you’ll soon realize, it was all an assumption, because you never said the magic words, “Open Sesame” or  “bippity-boppity-boo ” but the simplest magic words are: “I like you “and “I love you”. But you never said it, because we are all afraid of hearing the response, and they’ll trash us, because we aren’t that pretty or smart or Fashion-climbing buddies. Never believing in 'What-ifs" positively.

As we drove passed by the winds carrying our love stories, we see that it is the sweetest of love stories, but never had the happy ending. like we remember the times when we danced at the prom, never really bringing those we like, because they have other options, never really saying that we made funny signs at school  for us to have the courage to ask them. We never had that strength we need! We were so blinded by fairytales, yet it brought us to great changes,but we are still waiting, still hoping though it was 9 years ago or 1 year ago or  5 months ago or even just last graduation. Was that True Love or just an idea? and Have you ever felt that way?